24-year-old left financially unstable while her family bankrolled her brother grows up to make over $240k, has no mercy in saying ‘no’ when parents ask for money: ‘I closed the door while she was still on my porch.’

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  • "AITA for refusing my parents' $15K demand after they called me 'irresponsible' while standing in the $340K house they bought my brother?"

    My mother told me I was "financially irresponsible" while standing in my brother's kitchen, the one my parents paid $340,000 cash for.
  • I was 24 and asking for help with a $1,200 security deposit for my first apartment after college.
  • My brother was 28, married, with a full down payment gift that turned into them just buying the whole house outright when his wife cried about "starting their family in the perfect home." "You need to learn independence," my dad said.
  • "Your brother worked hard for what he got." My brother sold cellphones at Best Buy. I had two jobs and was finishing my nursing degree with a 3.8 GPA.
  • But sure, he worked hard. "We can't just hand you money every time you ask," my mother added.
  • She was literally sitting on their leather couch. In the house. They bought. For my brother.
  • I looked at my brother and he wouldn't even make eye contact. Just scrolled on his phone like I wasn't even there.
  • I moved into that apartment anyway. Picked up a third job doing overnight shifts at a group home.
  • Slept four hours a night for two years while finishing school. Never asked them for anything again.
  • Fast forward six years. I'm 30 now, making $240K as a CRNA at a major hospital.
  • I own a four-bedroom house in a neighborhood my parents couldn't afford. Drive a car that cost more than my brother's mortgage used to be before they paid it off.
  • Zero debt. My brother? Got laid off three years ago and never really recovered. Works part time at his friend's vape shop.
  • His wife works at Target. They've got two kids now and are drowning. My parents started calling me two months ago.
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  • Just little comments at first. "Your brother's really struggling." "It must be nice to be so comfortable." "Family helps family." I stayed polite but distant.
  • Then last month my dad called and asked me directly for $15,000 to help my brother avoid foreclosure on some investment property my parents co-signed for.
  • Apparently they'd bought him a rental property too, three years after the house. That venture went exactly how you'd expect.
  • I said no. My mother showed up at my house last week unannounced. Rang the doorbell at 8 PM on a
  • "We need to talk about your selfishness," she said the second I opened the door. "Excuse me?" "Your brother is losing everything and you're living here like some kind of queen.
  • This is what family does. We help each other." "You didn't help me." "We taught you a valuable lesson about independence.
  • Look how well you turned out. Your brother needed more support. He's not as strong as you." I actually laughed.
  • "So I get punished for being capable?" "Don't be dramatic. We're asking you to step up now.
  • Your brother has children. Your niece and nephew need stability." "You have money. You bought him two properties.
  • Help him yourself." Her face went red. "Our retirement fund is tied up. We can't access it without penalties.
  • You have liquid cash. We know you do." "And whose fault is that? Maybe if you hadn't spent hundreds of thousands on my brother's life you'd have liquid cash too." She called me jealous.
  • Said I'd been bitter since we were kids and I needed therapy for my resentment. Said I was holding grudges and being petty.
  • "You're right," I told her. "I am holding a grudge. I'm holding a grudge against parents who told their daughter to figure it out alone while handing their son everything.
  • Now I'm watching the consequences of your choices and I feel nothing." She started crying. Actual tears.
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  • "When you have children someday, you'll understand. We were doing what we thought was best for both of you." "Then keep doing what's best and leave me out of it." I closed the door while she was still on my porch.
  • Now she's telling everyone I'm cruel. My brother sent me a long text about how I don't understand what it's like to have kids and responsibilities.
  • My dad called me yesterday and said I'm "not the daughter they raised" and they're "disappointed in who I've become." Here's where it gets worse.
  • My brother's wife is pregnant with their third. My mother called two days ago crying, saying they want to "rebuild our relationship" because "life's too short for family feuds." Then yesterday I got a text from my mother.
  • Just a picture. It was a nursery setup, clearly my brother's house. Caption said: "Can't wait for you to meet baby Claire.
  • Hope you'll want to be in her life. Aunties are so important." I didn't respond. Today my dad called.
  • Asked if I was "ready to be reasonable" and told me they're expecting me at my brother's birthday dinner next month.
  • Like nothing happened. Like they didn't spend weeks harassing me for money and calling me selfish.
  • My best friend says I should just block them all. But part of me wonders if I'm going to regret this when my parents are gone.
  • If I'm being too harsh. They're still my parents. My brother's kids didn't do anything wrong.
  • But then I remember being 24 and crying in my car because I didn't know how I'd afford groceries and rent in the same week.
  • And how my mother told me I was irresponsible while standing in a house she bought for my brother.
  • Am I being bitter? Should I just let it go and try to have a relationship with my nieces and nephew even if it means pretending everything's fine?

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